The Tyler Hayes

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Lately, I’ve been thinking about doing something else. There’s nothing like the self-fulfilling prophecy of indecision.

I find myself trying to pull passion from wherever I can find it. It hasn’t been working so well, as you might imagine. As they say, words don’t write themselves.

Roger Ebert is one of my idols, though not just for his writing and opinions. Mr. Ebert is known for his consistency in writing. Even when he was first struggling to join Alcoholics Anonymous, he was too worried about missing a day of work. Now that’s dedication. To my point, Mr. Ebert is no different than other writers, and doesn’t claim to be. He’s no different because he has to start writing before he finds the words.

Since graduating college in ‘08, I’ve struggled with finding my own words on almost a daily basis, not just on my blog, but also when I speak, think, and converse. To be meta, you might say I’ve struggled to find myself. This is perfectly normal for someone my age, and at this life transition post-college. I know and accept that.

I don’t enjoy it, and I do often feel extremely alone in my struggles; not in the physical sense, as I know and love my friends and family. But I struggle to find someone else who is in my same place. Therein lies my passion problem: how does one find passion when it seems no one else shares that passion?

And so, I pull passion from every nook and cranny in which it hides in the off-chance I may accidentally stumble upon that which I am driven to do. My life story is that of “burning the candle at both ends” in a seemingly never-ending search to find… something. It’s not a greater cause, as I know of many. To be searching is to inherently be lost, but in this case I feel like I don’t even have a map. And where X marks the spot, I have no idea.

So I will continue pulling passion out of the shadows. I will continue doing a hundred different things at once. I hope you do too, whoever you are dear reader who processes these words and feels just a little bit less alone. We’re all out here searching, and I would encourage you to find at least one partner in your quest. I know I’m still waiting to find mine.